It has been both painful, and a privilege, to go through deep change while still a part of a community and a certain niche of my life for over 15 years. (I’m talking about pole dancing and the movement community that I’m a part of there still in some capacity)
To feel the dissonance of experiencing tectonic-level shifts of age, maturity, and values blending with the way people know/knew me, and the way I’ve operated creatively for well over a decade.
To witness and experience physical and energetic changes that contrast with the way I looked and felt “before”.
To be confronted with the need to make space for what’s asking to come in, that’s only getting louder and more insistent.
To have no choice in the fact that I’m changing, will keep changing, and will have to grieve and celebrate each version of me that unfolds, and ends.
If you are experiencing change, and along with that discomfort, grief, confusion, excitement, trepidation, tenderness, vulnerability, hope, despair, or any other emotion that’s an inevitable part of our becoming, you are not alone.
In fact, no one is exempt.
We all just navigate it in our own ways.
I feel the biggest gift you can give yourself is permission and grace to change.
And speaking from experience, the process is a lot more painful when you try to grip onto things that are asking you to let go.
You’ve got this. It, and you, are going to be ok.
And all the gifts of where you came from, and what you made of it in the ways you could up to this point, get to come with you - in new forms.
And at some point, it will get easier, lighter, clearer, more digested and more integrated into your being.
And then the benefits of that process will really make themselves known. (But not on your preferred timeline)
I say these words, with so much compassion and love, because I’ve navigated these things myself, and still am.
Don’t hold on to your last chapters because they were so true and clear and memorable that you refuse to turn the pages to the new yet unwritten.
Turn to those fresh, new pages that you get to fill.
You offered yourself that space and faith once (in your last new chapters), and you can do it again. ❤️